Island of the Living Dead (2007, Vincent Dawn)

"Some terrible monster, not human of any kind!"

New from Intervision Pictures Corp./Severin Films is one of the last films from famed Italian sleaze God Bruno Mattei (under his Anglo-pseudonym Vincent Dawn). My personal history with my namesake (my middle name is Bruno..close enough), goes all the way back twenty or so years ago to when I was 15. Living in a Massachusetts suburb, I devoured any film with the word "Zombie" or "Living Dead" in the title after watching Romero's first three Dead films, Evil Dead and Dead Alive all for the first time during one school vacation. Soon after, I happened upon a VHS of a schlocky movie called Night of the Zombies which I ended up enjoying quite a bit. Several years later, I bought the DVD of another zombie film titled Hell of the Living Dead, which I soon found out was actually Night of the Zombies under another title. From there I happened upon other Mattei films from various genres, my favorites of which are Rats: Night of Terror and Women's Prison Massacre. Which brings us to our subject of this review, Island of the Living Dead.

This film begins with a group of treasure hunters who pull a treasure chest out of the ocean, only to have the bottom fall out and all of the treasure to fall to the bottom of the sea. Shucks. And then, as if losing a treasure wasn't enough, their boat crashes and the crew, along with Captain Kirk...yes, their captain's name is Captain Kirk...happen upon a seemingly deserted island. As you can tell by the title of this film, the island certainly isn't deserted, it's very much alive...with the dead! Does that actually makes sense? Who gives a shit because what follows doesn't make any sense either! After all, too much sense (cents) makes dollars and that belongs nowhere near a Bruno Mattei film! Oh great, now I am writing plays on words. I think this film melted my brain. Anyhoo, the group come across a bunch of zombies...or are they vampires...or ghosts? Who the hell knows (I'm guessing not even the film makers)?

Island of the Living Dead fits well with Mattei's older films as well as his newer ones, including this film's sequel Zombies: The Beginning. Low budget, poorly dubbed and hilariously bad dialogue. But still very watchable, entertaining and above all the makeup FX are top notch! I do think Mattei's later films suffer slightly from the dissolution of his collaboration with writer Claudio Fragasso (best known for directing the "best worst movie" Troll 2), but only slightly. I would definitely recommend this film for old school Italian zombie fans because surprisingly not much has changed in Bruno's world. This nice looking release from Intervision features a trailer, sales promo and interviews with the producer and writer, giving some insight on how it was working with Mattei.

Rating: 7/10

Purchase Island of the Living Dead directly from Severin/Intervision Pictures Corp HERE

Zombies: The Beginning (2007, Vincent Dawn)

"Haha! You mean Zombies? Like George Romero?"

Recently released from Intervision Pictures Corp./Severin Films is a film that I was initially hesitant about watching. Why, you ask? Well I am a lover of Italian horror cinema, but my knowledge of anything post 1980's is very limited. Plus, Bruno Mattei's film career is definitely spotty and though I've grown to love many of his films, I just wasn't sure what to expect here. But I really am thankful that I took the plunge.

Zombies: The Beginning (with its ripoff of Fulci's Gates of Hell cover art) begins with a traumatized woman found afloat in the water. The woman suffers from nightmares about the living dead, which she claims to have killed her colleagues and is then fired from her job due to these crazy stories. She then becomes a Buddhist (?) but is brought back to the island by the Tyler Corporation, who have a sneaking suspicion that a "sample" (aka Zombie) that they sent there has...um...caused some problems. The girl travels with a group of soldiers to the island to see the prognosis. Just a hint...it's not good.

Ok so what I may have missed from my fuzzy, incoherent synopsis (for this fuzzy, incoherent film) is that this film is basically Aliens, with zombies instead of Aliens. Ok, not basically. It IS Aliens. The funny thing is that Bruno Mattei (billed here under his usual moniker Vincent Dawn) already did an Alien ripoff in 1989 called Shocking Dark. But that one included elements of The Terminator, instead of zombies so it's ok. So basically, this film is a ripoff of a ripoff. Not something completely unheard of for a Mattei film, nor is the "borrowed" footage (yes, you can see Viggo Mortensen for a couple seconds thanks to some Crimson Tide footage), horrible dubbing and script ("You Ugly Witch"). But you know what? I actually really enjoyed this film. Like I stated before, I was initially concerned by the time when this film was made, but luckily (at least in Mattei World), not much has changed in 25 or so years! Replace some terrible CGI with terrible models and BAM! It's the 80's all over again! So what did I like about this film? The makeup FX were surprisingly well done. The story was engaging (despite its unoriginality) and there were plenty of laugh out loud moments to keep you watching. So in closing, don't expect a great film (or an original one) but do expect a breezy, cheezy splatter-ific gas! There wasn't much improvement needed to be done by Intervision for this release, seeing how it is a fairly recent film so the picture quality is fine and there is also a trailer and a nice little featurette with the writer and his relationship with Mattei.

Rating: 7/10

Purchase Zombies: The Beginning directly from Severin/Intervision Pictures Corp HERE

The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer (1993, David R. Bowen)

 

Another title just released by Intervision Pictures Corp. fairs a little better than Things in the fact it actually feels like a real film and not a series of random images that you would see from a food poisoning hallucination.  The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer is a little seen, low budget documentary from 1993 starring Carl Crew (who also wrote the screenplay) as one of the world's most infamous serial killers.

 

The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer follows the subject from the time he was young and used to disect road kill to the end of his murderous reign, when he was finally caught.  In between, we see inside the mind of the killer and how a bad home life, alcohol abuse, self loathing and just a demented soul caused Dahmer to commit the unspeakable acts that he did.  We see how he used to lure strange men and boys to his home with the promise of taking their picture for money and then drug them before torturing, killing and dismembering them.

 

The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer is a very well done and factual depiction of the homicidal cannibal.  Crew does an impressive job as Dahmer, displaying how vile and sad he was and the situations with his victims more often than not have a  very candid feel.  The low budget film making style and dated fashions actually help the movie feel more authentic, especially considering it was made shortly after the killer was caught (and before he was murdered in jail).  Some of the killings are pretty brutal and the make up FX are pretty realistic (for the most part).  Intervision put out a nice disc here of an obscure film which comes with a trailer and commentary with director David R. Bowen and Carl Crew.

 

RATING:  8/10

 

 

 

Things (1989, Andrew Jordan)

Just released by Intervision Pictures Corp. is a rare slice of late 80's Canuxploitation that has to be seen to be believed - Things.  What is Things?  Is it any good?  Will I need to see a therapist after viewing this film?  These are all very hard questions to answer, but I will do my best. 

 

Things is a no budget horror film made by Andrew Jordan and Barry J. Gillis and what I assume to be a bunch of their friends/relatives.  Oh yeah, 80s porn star Amber Lynn is in it as a Newscaster (filmed in what looks like the back room of a pawn shop).  Don and Fred (Gillis and Bruce Roach, respectively) go up to Don's brother's house in the middle of nowhere on a road trip.  When they get there, brother is acting really weird.  It turns out that him and his wife were having trouble getting pregnant so the local doctor used her as an experiment and artificially inseminate her.  What hatches from her pregnant womb is not human....and begins a bloody rampage on anyone it encounters.

 

My inital review for Things was going to consist of three letters and punctuation mark:  W T F ? 

 

Is Things any good, you ask?  It depends on what you consider good.  If your weekend plans are to see Transformers 3 then I would say definitely not.  If you like watching terrible movies that are beyond comprehension to the normal, non-lobotomized brain then you are in luck!  There is no denying that Things is probably the worst movie ever made.  Luckily though, unlike some other bad movies - Things is so eye-poppingly, brain-meltingly bad that it's almost brilliant.  How a film like this made it beyond the film maker's (and I use that term loosely) house (or the parent's basement that they most likely still lived in at the time) and not only onto home video - but to amass a cult following and be released by a reputable DVD label is mind boggling.  Still, I can't deny that it deserves all of this.  Though probably best watched with a group of friends and as much alcohol as you can consume without blacking out, fans of cheesy cinema will undoubtedly be sucked into the parallel universe of hand made puppets, terrible dubbing and a double assault of mullets and mustaches that is THINGS!  Intervision Pictures Corp. gives Things an unbelievable abundance of bonus features including two commentaries, a cast reunion, and several interviews.  So once the dizziness caused from watching the film ends, you are left with these features to try to make sense of the whole thing.  Good luck with that!

 

Rating:  7/10 

(This rating is based on sheer fucked-upedness and enjoyability, as opposed to actual film quality)