Hell Ride (2008, Larry Bishop)

Hell Ride is a film I first heard of through its association with Mr. Quentin Tarantino. After seeing a trailer online I knew it was something I'd be interested in , basically an over the top, violent, exploitation/biker film.

Here's where I give a brief synopsis of the film. A group of bikers called the Victors, led by Pistolero (Writer/Director/Co-producer Larry Bishop) go in search of...wait, what were they searching for? I remember there was a box or something. Oh and Dennis Hopper and David Carradine appear too. Vinnie Jones is super bad-ass as the rival gang's leader. Michael Madsen as Gent and Eric Balfour as Comanche are very good too, as Pistolero's right hand men.

As you can tell, I don't really know what the film is about. But you know what? It doesn't really matter. The film succeeded in accomplishing what it was trying to: make a modern day exploitation biker film. I knew Hell Ride would be extreme, but I wasn't expecting this. The only thing more shocking than the amount of violence, profanity and (soft-core worthy) nudity is the fact that the film received an R rating and can be purchased at your local Walmart. I have seen plenty of sleazy films, many have been banned all over the world and few of them can hold a candle to Hell Ride. With all that being said, I really enjoyed the film. Hell Ride is chock full of many genre veterans, all of which are in fine form here. I'll admit that I had never heard of Larry Bishop until this film, but I can promise I'll be seeking out more of his works. I guess you could call the muddled story a little disappointing but the film makes up for it in many other ways.

RATING: 3/5

Dune (1984, David Lynch)

I remember pretty clearly when Dune came out. I was only about 4 years old. I used to see the action figures and playsets at the local Child World. The film was definitely within my radar but it wasn't until I was about 15 that I finally experienced Dune. And here it is, 12 years later that I am experiencing it again.

Dune is the story of...okay, does anyone really get this movie? When the film was first released in theaters, the audience was given cheat sheets listing many of the terms used in the film (characters, planets, etc.). My dvd also has a cheat sheet, which I'll admit helped out a bit. Anyway, I'll give it a shot. In the far away future (like 8 bizzilion AD or whatever), two opposing families, the Atreides and the Harkonnens, fight to gain control of the almighty spice, found in abundance on the planet Arrakis, aka Dune. Young Paul Atreides is soon acknowledged as the new messiah and targeted by the Harkonnens as their main threat. Can Paul and his allies conquer Dune or will the Harkonnens triumph? Or, will those crazy ass sandworms eat them all for breakfast?

That's my best shot at explaining the plot of this classic sci-fi film. The great thing about Dune is that you don't really need to understand everything that's going on to enjoy the film. Between the detailed set design, futuristic costumes, dazzling special effects and frightening creatures (courtesy of E.T. designer Carlo Rambaldi), the story is almost an afterthought. you can't deny that the wacky story and the world created in Dune is incredible, just a little hard to follow at times. Still, few sci-fi films can rival the originality of Dune.

RATING: 4/5

Suburbia (1984, Penelope Spheeris)

Penelope Spheeris' first film, The Decline of Western Civilization, is one of the greatest documentaries of all time. Few other directors have captured a moment in time so perfectly, that moment being the late 70's/early 80's L.A. punk scene. You really felt like you knew the characters and were there. So instead of following The Decline with another documentary, Spheeris did the next best thing: she scooped up some young punks and made a fictional story that itself could be mistaken for a documentary.

Suburbia is about a teenage boy named Evan who runs away from his alcoholic mother to live with a bunch of punks in an old abandoned house. The punks, or T.R. (The Rejected) are generally innocent kids who have no place to go and spend more time defending themselves against small minded jocks and adults than causing real trouble. Surprisingly, one of the only characters to treat them fairly is one of the kids' fathers, who is also a cop. Eventually Evan's young brother Ethan comes to live with them after his mother is arrested for DUI and the two struggle, along with the other T.R., to survive in a violent world where they are outcasts who just don't fit in.

Suburbia is another personal favorite and classic for any punk lover. Spheeris does a great job making her fictional story of rebellious youth feel like a documentary. Yes some of the acting is not very good, but these were kids just plucked off the street to basically play themselves. The story doesn't glorify the punks as being angels, but shows them as they really are: rude, obnoxious and very misunderstood. Another highlight is the concert performances by punk greats D.I., The Vandals and T.S.O.L. Also, look for Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers as Razzle, a punk with a pet rat who likes to destroy stuff.

RATING: 5/5

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1981, Diane Lane)

Until this film recently made its debut on DVD, I had never even heard of it. Even with its obscurity, I am still shocked that I managed to miss this great story of media manipulation in the music industry.

The film follows Corinne "Third Degree" Burns (a 15 year old Diane Lane), a small town rebel with a big time plan. After being featured on national TV, Corinne, her sister and her cousin (a young Laura Dern) start an all girl band called the Stains. They quickly find a gig opening up for an aging glam band called the Metal Corpses, fronted by burnout Lou Corpse (The Tubes' Fee Waybill) and punk band the Looters (featuring Steve Jones and Paul Cook from the Sex Pistols as well as Paul Simonon of the Clash). After the Metal Corpses leave the tour, the Stains start receiving mass amounts of attention, thanks to an over-zealous newscaster. That, along with a love affair between Corrine and Billy, the lead singer for the Looters (Ray Winstone), causes major tensions between the two remaining bands.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this film fucking rules! First of all, the cast is perfect. Ray Winstone is so believable as a british punk, Fee Waybill as an Alice Cooper wannabe and Diane Lane as underage punk princess, there were times you'd swear you were watching a real documentary. The music in the film is great (I wish they'd release the damn soundtrack, like they were originally planning) and the story of how the media can be a double edged sword is fantastic. I really can't say enough good things about this movie. I saw it for the first time less than two months ago and already it ranks with some of my favorites.

RATING: 5/5

Scum (1979, Ray Winstone)

Ok, Halloween is over. Now I'm going to branch out a little and review some non-horror films. People keep asking "so are you going to strictly review horror movies?" Well, this review should answer that question.

Ray Winstone is an actor that only recently came to my attention with his roles in The Proposition, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (review coming soon), The Departed and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I read about an early role he did in a controversial film called Scum and decided to check it out. The fact that it was released on the great Blue Underground helped seal the deal.

Ray Winstone plays Carlin, a young delinquent thrown in a juvenile detention center with a bunch of violent and troubled hooligans. After being attacked by some of the inmates, he decides things are going to change. Soon Carlin takes charge and actually makes things worse the others, changing nothing for the better. The other inmates have their own struggles to deal with, including suicide, racism, violence and rape.

Scum is a bleak and depressing film. I kept expecting Winstone's character to rise above the brutality of his fellow "Screws" and "Cons". I think the fact he ends up adding to the problem is what makes the film so raw and powerful. My only real complaint with the film are the scenes with the vegetarian Atheist, Archer and the unnecessary focus on some of the lesser characters. If Winstone was in every scene, the film would have only benefitted from it.

RATING: 4/5

What were you for Halloween?

Halloween. Easily my favorite time of year. Too bad it had to end. Oh well, at least I got to embarrass myself at work again with a stupid costume that no one knew what I was. Last year I was Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing. My co-workers thought I was either the Wolfman with a wife beater or the guy from Lord of the Dance. Oh well. This year, as I'm sure you can tell from the picture, I was Charlie Brown in his ghost costume from It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Shame on you if you didn't know that.

Seed of Chucky (2004, Jennifer Tilly)

It's only logical that the Child's Play series would follow the winning comedic horror formula of Bride of Chucky. Not that the original Child's Play didn't work but that had already been copied in the first two sequels.

At the end of Bride of Chucky, Tiffany popped out a little killer monster baby doll. The doll survived and has been in England as a freak show performer named Shitface. Shitface escapes from the freakshow to search for his real parents and ends up in Hollywood, where there is a film being made about the Chucky legend. The young doll resurrects his parents and the murders begin, though Shitface (now called Glen) doesn't want anything to do with killing. Will Chucky and Tiffany swear off killing to win the affection of their son or will their murderous ways continue, eventually pulling Glen in?

Seed of Chucky is a clever concept and has several funny scenes (the best of which feature the brilliant John Waters). As a horror film, it's lacking the suspense of the original and the movie within a movie subplot (featuring rapper Redman and Jennifer Tilly herself) is pretty bad. The film could have been better but there are enough things going for it to make it worth watching at least once.

RATING: 3/5