Howling V: The Rebirth (1989, Neil Sundstrom)

Ok I passed the half way mark in the Howling series. We've seen E.T.'s mom, Christopher Lee and a whole slew of other folks battling those hairy MoFos. The series definitely crapped itself early on with parts 2 and 3 but made up for it with part 4, a decent entry. I definitely remember the box for Howling V from my youth but never watched it.

Howling V starts off in a castle in the 15th century with a massacre meant to rid the world of werewolves, but after the last two kill themselves we hear a baby crying, meaning one werewolf survived. Now it is in the present time (or 1989) and a group of seemingly unrelated people, ranging from celebrities, athletes and several other professions, are invited to the re-opening of a castle in Hungary (I think) that has been closed for over 500 years. I'm sure you can guess what castle. After a snow storm prevents them from leaving the castle, it's only a matter of time before a werewolf starts killing off the group one by one.

Very different from the other Howling films, this one is more of a murder mystery and from what I've read online is basically a rehash of the 70's classic Amicus film The Beast Must Die (which I have but haven't watched yet). You see the werewolf throughout the film but only in quick shots and I don't recall any transformation scenes. This may be disappointing for those hoping for a good werewolf movie but I'd still say the film was enjoyable. It started out kind of rough with a bunch of lame character introductions and bad dialogue, but once the film got going, I was totally into it. The actors range from crappy to decent, but the atmosphere is great. The werewolf killings are lacking (you only see the after effects) but not terrible. Overall I'd say it was a decent film, but not really for werewolf fans.

RATING: 3/5

Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988, John Hough)

Ok, I am starting to regret this venture. There is no way this series can get worse, right? RIGHT?!? Oh god, please let this film not suck ass. Apparently it is based on the same story (Gary Brandner's novel The Howling) that the first film is based on, though this one is more true to the story. I remember seeing the video box for this a lot as a kid but never saw it until now. Please don't suck. Please don't suck. Please don't suck.

Howling IV starts off with an author Marie Adams (Romy Windsor), who is having strange visions. She eventually goes nuts and ends up in a hospital. She is told by her doctor that she needs to go away to relax, so she goes to stay in a cabin with her husband Richard (Michael T. Weiss), in the rural town of Drago. While there, Marie starts having more visions and hears an animal howling every night. The townfolk all insist there is nothing there to be afraid of while Richard starts getting fed up with Marie's weirdness. He starts having an affair with the local shopkeeper, while Marie gets it in her head that there are werewolves around. She is aided by a fan Janice (Susanne Severeid) and Marie's coworker Tom (Anthony Hamilton). Is she hallucinating or is there really a werewolf out there?

Phew. Luckily this film is not nearly as bad as part III. Starting from scratch and dismissing all previous Howling films, this one gets points for its use of atmosphere over visuals. You don't even see the werewolf really until the last 15 minutes. The transformations scenes, especially the first one was well done and much different than in the other films. In this one, the human's skin all melt off into a puddle of glop and the end result is a werewolf. Also there are some crazy visuals at the end with one of the character's heads as it is tranforming. Its face is pretty much ripped off to make way for the werewolf within. Though a little slow and some of the characters were blah, the film worked overall, with a great finale. One last thing about the film is Michael T. Weiss' mullet and wardrobe consisting of canvas vests. Dude, WTF? The 80s were obviously a time of fashion faux pas but this is extreme.

RATING: 3/5

Howling III: The Marsupials (1987, Phillipe Mora)

Marsupial werewolves? I guess it makes sense since the film takes place in Australia, where there are lots of other marsupials like Kangaroos and Wallabies. Ok, I guess it still doesn't make much sense, but whatever. With the rousing success (*FART*) of Howling II, Phillipe Mora came back to helm the next sequel. It couldn't be any worse than the previous entry, right?

Howling III starts off with a girl named Jerboa Jerboa (Imogen Annesley), a werewolf who escapes from her Australian tribe in the town of Flow (read it backwards....Nilbog anyone?) to the big city of Sydney. She is spotted by a young man named Donny Martin (Leigh Biolos) who is looking for a girl to be in a horror movie he is working on (don't ask). She accepts and gets a part in the movie, while also becoming the man's lover. After a few sessions of hot monkey love, Jerboa starts turning into a werewolf and gets hit by a car. At the hospital, she is discovered to be pregnant. Anyway, some stuff happens and Jerboa is brought back to Flow by three werewolf nuns (don't ask) and then gives birth to the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen. Seriously, I wish my wife was a marsupial werewolf so we could have a little werewolf baby. Donny finds Jerboa and they go off to live in the wilderness, along with a doctor and his werewolf ballerina wife (don't ask).

Howling III - where do I start? I'll start with the good. Imogen Annesley (hot Australian chick) and the cute fucking werewolf baby. That's really it. This movie made my head hurt because of all the stuff they tried to jam into it. I mean, they are in Flow, then they're in Sydney, then they're in a hospital, then they're back in Flow, then they are in a hospital again. Jesus Christ, it wouldn't have surprised me if they took a trip to Gilligan's Island, Disneyworld and then a fucking rocket ship to Mars. Another bad thing about the film was the makeup effects. If you're going to make a horror film with a terrible story, at least make the transformations look cool. Maybe they thought they actually had a good script because the effects were ass. They looked like really bad puppets. And what was up with the sex scenes? They were so covered in sweat it was disgusting. Made me want to take a shower. The cast ranged from decent to annoying (the big bald guy who played Jerboa's rapist werewolf stepfather annoyed the hell out of me, as did the bumbling doctor who was in 75% of the film but contributed nothing to it). So yeah, this movie was actually worse than the Howling II. At least that one made sense. Phillipe Mora should have quit making movies after The Beast Within. Fuck this stupid movie in the ear. I wish I was a time traveling marsupial werewolf so I could go back to 1987 and hide the original negative in my pouch before it could be released.

RATING: 1/5

Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (1985, Phillipe Mora)

I still remember seeing the video box for Howling II as a kid and its silly subtitle "Your Sister is a Werewolf". I always assumed it was more of a tongue in cheek horror comedy because of this. For the most part, I was wrong (we'll get to the comedic bits a little later). I did watch this about two years ago for the first time, mainly because I liked the first one so much and it had Christopher Lee.

Howling II takes place directly after the events in the first film. Ben White (Reb Brown) is out to find out what really caused his sister Karen's death (played by Dee Wallace in the first film and by some other lady in this one). One of Karen's fellow news reporters Jenny (Annie McEnroe) befriends him and they end up taking a trip to Transylvania after meeting up with a priest named Stefan Crosscoe (Christopher Lee). Crosscoe insists that Karen was a werewolf and that they must travel to Transylvania to destroy the queen werewolf Stirba (Sybil Danning).

Howling II is for the most part a disappointment. The story is silly, the werewolves look ridiculous and the cast is...well, lets talk a little bit about the cast. First of all, Christopher Lee. What the fuck were you thinking? I read that he claims that the biggest regret of his career was turning down the role of Dr. Loomis in Halloween. I'd say he must have forgotten that he was in this movie when he said that. Though I also read that he apologised to Joe Dante (director of The Howling) on the set of Gremlins 2 for being in this film. Lee is fine but the over the top dialogue and overall ridiculousness of his character makes it nothing but laughable. Next up is Reb Brown: Action Hero. Reb uses his boyish good looks here to basically stand around and spout unfunny one liners. Then there are the werewolf trio of Stirba (Sybil Danning), Vlad (Judd "I wonder if this is his real name?" Omen) and Mariana (Marsha A. Hunt). The scenes with the werewolf orgy is absolutely hilarious. They lay in bed scratching, biting and snarling at each other. You really have to see it to believe it. The eroticism of this scene is pretty much void when it shows them all hairy and whatnot. Gasp! It's like every guy's worst nightmare when you finally see a hot girl nekkid and she's all hairy. Gag! (no offense to all you hairy women out there) Moving on, there is also a recurring music video throughout the film of some faux-new wave band singing a song which isn't half bad...until they play the thing 20 times! Actually, now that I think of it the beginning of the film (which starts with the new wave band performing on stage in a club) is VERY reminiscent of the beginning of the David Bowie vampire film The Hunger, though Tony Scott's ultra cool and dark direction is leagues above this film (as is Bauhaus' performance of their classic Bela Lugosi's Dead to this film's unknown band). Also of note is the end credits scene, which shows scenes from the film cut up with (you guessed it) the film's new wave theme song. You can tell the director is having a little fun, showing Danning rip off her top about 20 times. Actually, this end credit scene should have been the movie! Speaking of the director, Phillipe Mora, I think he did a competent job and he definitely added some style to the silly plot (especially the puppet show scenes). I loved his film The Beast Within so I'll admit I was a little disappointed with this one. Oh, the one thing I did like about this film was when the dwarf's eyeballs popped out. Great scene.

RATING: 2/5

The Howling (1981, Joe Dante)

Well B Movie enthusiasts, now begins my Howling marathon. You asked for it and now you're gettin' it. Lets begin with the now classic first entry in The Howling series. I forget when I first heard about this film but I know I was a teenager. I'm not sure if I had heard much about it or just that it was one of the best werewolf films out there. I do remember really liking it and of course being blown away by the transformation scenes.

The Howling begins with Karen White (Dee Wallace), a news reporter who is being stalked by serial killer Eddie Quist (Robert Picardo). She agrees to meet with him at a porno theater, unbeknownst to him that she is wearing a police microphone. After losing communication with the police, Karen is forced to watch a film of a woman being raped before being attacked by Quist. At the nick of time, the cops bust in and kill him, though his body soon disappears from the morgue. Karen and her husband Bill (Christopher Stone) are sent out to a place called "the Colony" by her doctor, a resort meant to help his patients relax. While there, Karen starts hearing and seeing strange things and soon enough she realizes that the town she is in is filled with....well, you know.

The Howling is still one of the greatest werewolf movies ever made. Joe Dante really knows how to make an old-timey monster movie (as he did with Gremlins and Piranha), while still keeping it fresh and using modern themes and effects. The most astonishing thing about the film, as I stated before, is Rob Bottin's unbelievable werewolf transformations. Though not better than Rick Baker's transformation FX in American Werewolf in London (Bottin consulted Baker on the Howling's FX), they go on much longer. The storyline is fun and the actors chosen are all perfect. Dee Wallace and (future hubby) Christopher Stone are excellent as are the rest of the cast (including John Carradine, Patrick Macnee, newcomer Elisabeth Brooks and Dante regulars Dick Miller and Belinda Balaski). Overall, a terrific movie that you can watch over and over again (I've seen it at least five times).

RATING: 5/5

Second Quarter Review - 2009

Wow, here it is. The year is officially half over. As before, I continued recording my movie watching progress and have a handy dandy list of what movies I watched starting 4/1/09 and ending 6/30/09. I would still be happy to talk to anyone about any of the movies watched and would be happy to review anything if someone has a special request. If anyone has a movie I haven't listed that they'd like to see reviewed (or if you just want to pass along a copy of your favorite/least favorite movie) I'd be happy to give it a watch and review it. I still owe Mykal from Radiation Cinema a review of the At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul disc that he was so kind to send to me. I haven't forgotten, just haven't gotten around to it yet. Anyway, here's the list and I'd love to hear anyone's feedback (good/bad/stupid):

4/2

Cat in the Brain

4/4
Vanishing Point

4/5
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires
Bloodsucking Freaks
Jess Franco's Count Dracula
Mark of the Devil
Bloody Moon
Four of the Apocalypse

4/9
Beast in Space (unrated)

4/10
Sole Survivor

4/11
Burnt Offerings

4/12
Beyond the Door
H.O.T.S.
The Psychic
Repulsion
Opera

4/18
Slaughter High

4/19
Manhattan Baby
Sinful Dwarf
Lucio Fulci's Zombie
Touch of Death
Mephisto Waltz

4/25
Django Kill

4/26
Unhinged
Loveless
Murder Rock
Conquest
The Wrestler
Shock

5/2
Emergency Squad

5/3
Cop in Blue Jeans
White Dog
Madman
Revolver
28 Weeks Later

5/7
The Cynic, The Rat and the Fist

5/10
Almost Human
Violent Naples
Man From Deep River

5/23
Fistful of Dollars

5/26
Survival Quest

5/27
Beastmaster

5/28
Losin' It

5/31
Navy Seals
Battlestar Galactica

6/4
Rancid - Music Videos

6/7
Star Trek the Motion Picture
Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan

6/9
Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock

6/11
Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home

6/12
Malabimba: The Malicious Whore

6/14
Ninth Configuration
Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier
Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country

6/17
Wise Blood

6/18
Ministry - Tapes of Wrath

6/19
Critters

6/21

Critters 2

Critters 3

Critters 4

6/22

Hardcore

6/26

Shivers

6/28

The Last Shark

Piranha

Piranha part Two: The Spawning

6/29

Orca the Killer Whale

The Howling Marathon Begins!

Yes folks, your votes were tallied and at a whopping two votes the winner of my "What Franchise Should I Watch Next?" contest is The Howling. I watched the first Howling film tonight and will try to get through them as quickly as possible. There are 7 films in the series, the last of which (Howling: Bad Moon Rising) is a VHS only release that I picked up for $2.00 still sealed! Keep your eye on the site for the reviews.

P.S. - The pants in the pic above were totally intentional. They are there to symbolize something, I just haven't made up what that is yet.