Thankskilling (2010, Jordan Downey)

What better way to celebrate the festive holiday of Thanksgiving than a movie about a foul mouthed Turkey who kills college kids during their Thanksgiving break?  Well, I can't think of any other way!  MVD brings us this cult classic just in time to sit our bloated asses on the couch, pry the remote out of Grampa's sleeping hand and dig in!

Thankskilling is the story of a 500 year old turkey named Turkie who comes back from the dead to get revenge on the "white man" who killed him after the first Thanksgiving (I calculate that to be less than 500 years ago, but who's counting?).  Kristen, Ali, Darren, Billy and Johnny are 5 college kids coming home for Thanksgiving break when their car dies in the middle of nowhere.  They decide to camp out for the night and meet up with Turkie.  They must get home and find a way to kill Turkie before he kills them.

With a tagline of "Gobble Gobble Motherfucker!, it's pretty obvious that this film is not meant to be taken seriously.  Thankskilling was a lot of fun and the comedy really worked.  Turkie was one of the funniest villains I've ever seen in a horror film and his one liners were hilarious.  Throw in some surprisingly good makeup FX and lots of bad acting and you have an instant cult classic.  The film was only 67 minutes too so there was no time for any slow parts.  Sure the film was ridiculous and you have to be in the right mood to watch it, but it definitely worked and was one of the most enjoyable films I've seen in a long time.

RATING:  10/10

Thankskilling is available directly from MVD HERE

Jessicka Rabid (2011, Matthew Reel)

Coming December 13th from Troma is a disturbing little horror film called Jessicka Rabid.  Unlike anything I've ever seen before, this is a rough film and definitely not your typical goofy Troma film.  It seems lately Troma has been picking up more outside low budget films as opposed to self made films (for better or worse) and in this case I'd say the risk paid off.

Jessicka Rabid is about a family of sadistic low lives who keep a girl as their pet.  This girl, Jessicka, has been abused and mistreated so long that she thinks she is a dog.  She is abused by the family and any visitors that come to their house seem to know her and abuse her too.  Jessicka finally gets loose and goes on a killing spree against those that imprisoned her.

Jessicka Rabid is a disturbing little film that goes beyond your average horror title.  Not overly gory but unbelievably brutal and sick.  You can't help but feeling bad for Jessicka and all of the abuse that she goes through.  A very dark film with some of the most revolting characters you'll ever see, this one is not for the faint of heart.  Director Matthew Reel uses a fuzzy, hand held camera to film all of the brutality, giving it a news reel like quality, a la Last House on the Left.  Whether this film style is due to budget or not, it works incredibly well, making the horrific story that much more real.  Some of the acting is noticeably amateurish but almost in a good way because it really seems like these people aren't acting, but just living out another day in their twisted world.


RATING:  8/10

Pre-Order Jessicka Rabid directly from Troma HERE

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Shout! Select Sale

In celebration of this collection, we’ve lowered the price of all Shout! Select titles 20% off! Due to popular demand, these offers have will be extended and available through 11/28/2011.

Never Too Young to Die (1986, Gil Bettman)

What is the weirdest movie you've ever seen?  Before an hour ago I don't know what I would have said but now I do.  It is Never Too Young to Die.  What makes this seemingly typical bad 80's movie so weird?  Pretty much everything.  From the completely random cast to the mishmash of genres to the fact the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie, this one takes the cake.  Is it bad though?  Very.  But is it so bad it's good?  Read on.

Never Too Young to Die starts off with the one time James Bond, George Lazenby playing (shock!) a secret agent named Drew Stargrove who is trying to stop a madman from polluting the city's drinking water.  The madman ends up killing Stargrove but needs to find a diskette that Stargrove has hidden.  Enter Stargrove's son Lance played by the eternally cool John Stamos, a (23 year old) high school student.  Lance meets one of his father's accomplices, Danja Deering, played by 80s singer/model/actress Vanity and together they get into trouble with the madman who killed Lance's father.  Oh, did I mention that the madman behind all of this is a leather clad, heavy metal-cabaret singing hermaphrodite named Ragner played by none other than GENE SIMMONS?!?

Seriously.  What the fuck?  Throw in Robert Englund as Ragner's right hand man and you have one of the most awesomely non-sensical casts ever assembled.  To be honest though, the cast is the only reason I decided to watch this movie out of the millions of movies out there.  It was just too strange to pass up.  Other than the cast, the fact the film makers tries to mix so many genres into one movie is another factor in its weirdness.  I guess I'd call it a secret agent, romantic action film with a post-apocalyptic look, a little bit of gore and a drag musical number for good measure.  Now for the title.  Ok, so it was uttered by one of the characters in the film, but it really has nothing to do with it.  But I guess it's kind of a catchy title so I can see why they kept it.  It's probably better than my title Stargrove vs the Heavy Metal Hermaphrodite.  So, what's the verdict?  I actually must admit that I enjoyed this film way more than I should, but honestly it was the cast that did it.  None of the actors are actually talented but just seeing them thrown in together seemed like a stroke of genius.  If you don't like the cast then I would stay far away from this movie because it is pretty bad.  But it definitely fits into the so bad it's good category.  You even get a touching moment where Stamos tells Simmons that he is pretty and Simmons tries to kiss Stamos in return.  There is also a big reveal at the end that I predicted shortly after the movie started.  There is much to laugh at and probably sitting around with a few friends and a case of beer is the best way to watch this trainwreck.  I guess I'll give it a slightly above middle of the road rating only because the film was really bad but also quite enjoyable.

RATING:  6/10

As far as I know this film has never been released on DVD but you can get old VHS copies relatively cheaply.  Why this isn't on DVD is beyond me because I'm sure there is a niche of weirdos who would eat it up....or should I say...LICK IT UP.   LICK IT UP.  OH OH OH.  IT'S ONLY RIGHT NOW!

Klown Kamp Massacre (2010, Philip Gunn & David Valdez)

Coming December 13th from Troma, Klown Kamp Massacre is a low budget horror film using one of the most tried and true subjects in horror - CLOWNS (or in this case, KLOWNS).  I was lucky to have a childhood where clowns didn't plague my nightmares but I know plenty of people who did and it wasn't pretty.  Having to avoid the circus and anywhere else a clown might pop up doesn't sound like a fun childhood for me.  Klown Kamp Massacre isn't your typical killer clown movie though.  Read on and see what I mean.

 

The best way for me to describe Klown Kamp Massacre is to call it Friday the 13th with clowns.  Basically an aspiring clown named Edwin gets ridiculed many years ago at a clown camp and then goes on a killing rampage, offing all of the fellow clown campers.  Now, it's the present and the clown camp is being reopened by an aging clown named Bonzo.  Edwin makes his way back to camp and starts knocking off the clowns in training, one by one.

 

Klown Kamp Massacre has a good mixture of horror and comedy.  The death scenes are expertly done with scalpings, sliced throats, beheadings and several more grisly sights to make your stomach turn (the blown off face and the headless female clown are two stand outs).  The use of practical effects (as opposed to CGI) really makes a difference in delivering the gory goods.  The film also benefits from an over-the-top script using silly characters (they are clowns remember), juvenile humor and zany sound effects.  One other pleasant surprise was the quality of the cinematography.  It seems like a good HD camera was used and the directors were obviously schooled in their craft so the film definitely looked better than what a paltry budget usually delivers.  Throw in a twist ending, a spoof (or was it?) on the whole rapping clown/Insane Clown Posse scene, some clown fornication and Lloyd Kaufman and you have a funny, gory, well made horror film.  Obviously this isn't high art, but it's watchable and entertaining if you're looking for something different in the over-crowded horror genre.

 

RATING:  7/10

 

Pre-Order Klown Kamp Massacre directly from Troma HERE

Fan of the Dead (2008, Nicolas Garreau)

Raise your hand if you've never seen George A. Romero's Dead trilogy (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead)....

 

Ok, now those who raised your hand can go wallow in shame while the rest of you can continue reading this review.  One of the best loved and most important trilogies in horror history, Romero's zombie trilogy mixes political and humanist themes with oodles of blood, gore and entrails.  It is not surprising then that fans would want to see the locations used for these masterpieces...and if you (like me) are one of those fans, this is the DVD for you.

 

Fan of the Dead is a travelogue of sorts, filmed by French Romero fan Nicolas Garreau who traveled to the United States (mainly the Pittsburgh area) to visit all of the filming locations used in the Dead trilogy.  We see the basement where Night of the Living Dead was filmed, the Monroeville Mall where Dawn of the Dead was filmed and the underground bunker used in Day of the Dead.  We also follow Garreau as he travels to a convention featuring many of the stars of Dawn of the Dead as well as a tour through the Monroeville Mall by Dawn of the Dead star Ken Foree.  Almost every location used (even minor locations that are briefly seen) in the films are visited and shown to see how different (or similar) they look now, as well as a few nearby locations used in the Night of the Living Dead remake and Romero's Creepshow. 

 

Fan of the Dead shines for a few different reasons.  The first is just how many different locations we get to see and people we meet along the way (cast, crew, locals).  Garreau's optimism and excitement for traveling across the Atlantic to visit these sacred horror grounds is apparent and his enthusiasm is contagious.  I found myself very entertained throughout the film and anxious to see where I would be taken next.  This is a great companion piece to Roy Frumke's Document of the Dead documentary and a must have for all Romero fans.  I could complain about the shaky camera work and the English narration, but for what the film is, it's perfect.  Though casual fans might not get as much out of the film as die hard fans would, I'd say it's still an important piece of film making.

 

RATING:  8/10

 

You can buy the Fan of the Dead DVD directly from MVD HERE

The Death of Andy Kaufman (2011, Christopher Maloney)

Andy Kaufman, star of Saturday Night Live, Taxi and (in a lesser known role) Larry Cohen's God Told Me To, is one of the wildest, hilarious and brilliant comedians of all time.  Much has been written about Kaufman and there was even a biopic starring Jim Carrey.  Kaufman's mysterious death has long since been a topic of discussion among fans and conspiracy theorists.  I have been a fan of Andy Kaufman for a long time and always wanted to know the truth about his death so this DVD seemed like the perfect way to find out the truth.

 

The Death of Andy Kaufman features director Christopher Maloney on a pilgrimage to find out what the truth is surrounding Kaufman's mysterious death.  There have long since been rumors that he faked his death and is still alive.  Maloney displays many inconsistencies with the reports of his death and how he actually could have faked it.  He travels to places that he has heard Kaufman was spotted recently to see for himself if there is any truth in the rumors.  After all the facts are laid out and the conspiracies mostly debunked, the film shifts into a loving tribute to one of the greatest comedians of all time.

 

The Death of Andy Kaufman is a smart, well made documentary on a much disputed topic.  Death conspiracies always interest me and this is no exception.  The way the film shifts from the conspiracy theory to a film about Kaufman's contributions to the entertainment business makes it quite original and uncovers more about Kaufman than just his death.  There is a lengthy interview with Kaufman's brother that shows that even he can never be completely sure that Kaufman is dead but that it's more important to just remember him for the genius and kind person that he was. This documentary also features a half hour interview with the director and trailers.

 

RATING:  9/10

 

This DVD can be purchased directly from MVD HERE